


His Blogger

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 221b, Band, Blogger - Freeform, BoyxBoy, Crack, Fanboy, Fluff, Funny, Gay, Hilarious, Humor, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Social Media, Teenlock, Twitter, celebrity, lol, out of BBC Sherlock, personal blog of john watson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>THE PERSONAL BLOG OF JOHN H. WATSON</p><p>NAME: John W.<br/>AGE: Legal<br/>Place: Mariana’s Trench (Sherlock’s cheekbones)<br/>Fan of: William Sherlock Scott Holmes, Sherlock Holmes’ body, Sherlock Holmes’everything. Oh, and Mummy Holmes’ youngest son.<br/>Occupation: Part-time working at Bart’s and a full-time fanboy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. About Me

**THE PERSONAL BLOG OF JOHN H. WATSON**

 

 **NAME** : John W.

 **AGE** : Legal

 **PLACE** : Mariana’s Trench (Sherlock’s cheekbones)

 **FAN OF** : William Sherlock Scott Holmes, Sherlock Holmes’ body, Sherlock Holmes’everything. Oh, and Mummy Holmes’ youngest son.

 **OCCUPATION** : Part-time working at Bart’s and a full-time fanboy.

***

Hi! My name is John and I live the life of a fangirl except I’m not a girl. I have a flat-chest and I am fangirl with a penis. And I am living proof of about 90% of 221B’s fandom. I spent 8 hours a day, blogging and scrolling through Tumblr and Twitter for my favorite band in the world’s latest pictures. My other musical influence is T-Hiddy. He’s a rap-god himself and I practically fell in love with him when he and Sherlock did a collaboration. I suggest listen to **‘No Apologies (ft. Shezza)** , **Lokimotion** and **U Been Loki’d**. I would scream and most probably faint if I ever meet Sherlock Holmes even though the chances are very slim since he doesn’t even notice me on Twitter. Greg Lestrade follows me and I’m grateful for that but I just want Sherlock to notice me so I’m one step closer to my wedding with the love of my life. Well, Myke (Mycroft) is okay too, he’s totally rocking out the drums and Molly is very good with the keys, then we have Greg who’s totally slaying everyone with his bass guitar. But nothing really compares to Sherlock Holmes when he sang and strummed his guitar which made him looks like he was making love to it.

Anyways, if you ever have a question, let me know. I’m most likely to answer them within three minutes unless I’m at work, sleeping or drooling over my laptop or phone due to Sherlock Holmes’ sexyness.


	2. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I did really go insane I’m I? First of all this story is set in an alternative universe wherein everything happened in the story doesn’t have to do with the original BBC Series or any of Arthur Conan Doyle’s work. I just use the faces of the actors of BBC Sherlock, wherein any of them isn’t related to this story. I casted them as my characters in this story but I am not suggesting that any of them is gay or what and also, I am implying to the BBC series. Though I strictly believe that Johnlock is just so real but everything is just in subtext. Hope you all enjoy this chapter because I do have fun writing this! Happy reading! #imbringingoutthegaynessinwatson

**@John_Watson**

**Yes @GregsonsGirl143, I am boy and no, I don’t pretend to be one to score with the ladies. (sent 2 minutes ago)**

“Seriously, Mary, why is everyone asking if I’m really a boy? Do I look like a girl on my profile picture to you? Is John a girl’s name? No it’s not right? I really don’t get it.” I whined to my best friend through the phone. “Listen: _Is that you in your profile pic? Or you are a famewhore to get in more attention_?”

“Well…” she paused. “You’re babbling like a girl.”

I gasped. I gave her a deathly glare as if I’m seeing her right now. “Oh! That’s not true! I can’t even-“

“Yes, John. I can’t even what?”

“Huh? I don’t get it. What do you mean?” I frowned at her while I’m opening my laptop whilst typing the password. A picture of Sherlock Holmes only on his sheet during their music video of ‘A Scandal in Belgravia’. Something bubbles inside me. Damn you, Sherl. Damn that chest. Being hot shouldn't be legal.

“You just said, you can’t even. You can’t even what?”

I sighed. She needs a lot of learning. “That was the end of my sentence. It’s what people actually say when you don’t know what to say next. Do you actually read my blog? It’s full of ‘I can’t evens, RIP OVARIES and there goes my ovaries.”

“Did you listen to your Biology teacher, John you’re a boy, you don’t have ovaries. And I don’t see any reasons why people question even your penis.”

“Speaking of penises, you can totally see that bulge in Sherlock’s tight-pants.” Click- save folder- SH. I zoom in and yes, definitely a stiffy there. I chuckle to myself, completely zoning out of the world because , wow, Sherlock’s legs in those jeans is insanely mental.

“John, I’m hanging up now. See you tomorrow at work.” I have other stuff and obligations to do anyway. Like saving my blog fans the disgrace of being denied by a fantastic photo. The world has to drool over with my babe, which I am kind enough to share with. Because HE’S A WALKING PROMISE OF A WILD AND DIRTY SEX and I, as his blogger, it is my responsibility to do my unpaid duty.

I click onto Twitter and scroll through the tweets filling my timeline. Is it sad that I want to rip those girls hair when they got a picture together with 221B ? It’s not that I’m jealous or anything. Wait, scratch that. I am terribly jealous! They met my idols! They know what Greg smells like! And how gorgeous Molly was! They've talked to Myke and had Sherlock’s hand on their lower backs! I imagined Sherlock Holmes’ skillful hands on your back, long fingers carefully pressed into your skin. Your hands on is waist, feeling the outlines of his body under your fingers as you carefully press yourself further into his side. The camera flashes and the picture is done. You smile up at him to thank him but before you have the chance, his lips hover yours and-

Fuck! When it comes to Sherlock Holmes, I tend to get a little bit carried away. Maybe that’s what fanfictions do to me. Yes, yes let’s blame the fanfics for that because those stupid stories make you feel like you’re a part of that world, like you actually know the members of 221B and then the story ends and you fell miserably into deep darkness because you actually have the most boring life in the world. Like me.

I work three hours a day at Bart’s: you know those little supermarkets all around England and Ireland? I have to re-stock the shelves between eight and eleven every morning. It’s just enough to pay for my food and a one bedroom apartment. I moved from Southampton, to the outskirts of London four months ago and it might or might not have something to do with the fact that it’s easier to run into my future husband here.

Right, I know, future husband might be a stand in description for the famous guy (who has never notice me) I’m lusting over who knows? Fine, Sherlock’s been famously rumored of dating women, ladies, slags or whatever you might call them. And one of them was Irene Adler. I kinda like her with him because they have chemistry. But Sherlock and I are just the best. I don’t even know if he was even interested in a lovely young man like me. But hey, I can hope right?

**John_Watson**

**Hey @SHolmes_221B. You’re so hot that you’re practically on fire. (sent 30 seconds ago)**

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B, I’m a boy, by the way. (sent 26 seconds ago)**

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B NOTICE ME! (sent 7 seconds ago)**

After I got my daily dosage of Sherlock spamming and picture gazing, it’s time for food. It’s a common knowledge that Sherlock is the best cook in the band and he likes tacos and fajitas. So I may have thought myself how to cook those meals, just in case. Hey, if my man suddenly enters my kitchen and demands food, I want to impress him.

I turn the radio on and squeal (manly) when A Study In Pink plays, shimmying my hips to the tune as I prepare lunch. I sing along to the lyrics of the song except of Sherlock’s part. Because you gotta respect the king. And he also got the voice of a freaking angel that may or not may makes me want to hug my radio or television or computer whenever I hear it.

Don’t worry. Hugging electronics is normal. What’s bad is when I wanted to lick them, but that’s because Sherlock Holmes is a cupcake and I always lick the icing of cupcakes. Wasn’t that weird? Wanting to lick someone’s face? Their abs? And other SEVERAL PARTS of the body?

Okay fine, I might come across as a girl but I really am a boy-no. I will not post a picture of my willy. I just appreciate earth’s finest creature in the world, Sherlock Holmes, a lot, I’m just a boy with a blog, making it his life’s mission to get into Sherlock’s pants, unless he’s already naked, then I just wanted a piece of him.

I decide that this is the last message about what I has between my legs and go on with more imported matters, what Sherlock Holmes has between his legs.


	3. Two

“They’re all looking at me, John.” Mary said. Not like she’s never been into my house but every time she came here, she steps into my living room warily.

Mary just stared at my posters and I nod. I always; pretend that they’re looking at me; sometimes I perform a bit of stripping act in front of a Sherlock poster. He likes it though because he never looks away.

“Oh god, Mary! MY FEELS!” I point to my screen. 

“Your feels, John? As in your feelings?”

“Yes! It has something to do with that! But seriously! Look at this picture! Cheverloo!” My mouth is nearly hanging on the floor. Hello, Sherlock Holmes wearing a purple shirt and absolutely looking freaking sexy on it. Oh god! This man is born to wear purple shirt of sex.

“It’s alright.”

“Alright?! Alright? What do you mean it’s alright?” I gasp, feeling more offended than I actually should since it’s not my body we are talking about anymore. “This guy is a curly haired sexy beast. I would handcuff myself into his belt.”

“You would what?”

“Think about it…” My own imagination begins playing because wow, what would happen if I was stuck on Sherlock’s belt and he had to undress himself? Note to self: bring handcuffs because fate might bring me to meet Sherlock Holmes himself.

“Mary? Would you ship us?” I grab my laptop and open a high quality picture of Sherlock’s flawless face and hold it close to mine.

“Ship you?” she looked at me confused and frowning.

“Yeah, like can you see us together?” I try to stay calm but for a girl who claims she loves 221B, she doesn’t quite understand how the fandom works. Shipping is a major part of our fandom. People ship the members together. Like Greg and Myke and Molly and Sherlock and they even have names for them together.

“As in dating?”

“No, as in milking cows together, yes dating! Do you think we would look hot together? He’s freaking hot, obviously, but I’m not really that bad either am I? So seriously, would you ship us?”

“I eh, guess.” She stammered, hesitating in her answer. Maybe I should have a poll on my blog asking whether they would ship Sherlock and me or not. Although those bitches would get all jealous and say that Sherlock isn’t gay just so they think (don’t let me laugh) that they have a shot with him. Sherlock is all mine. All mine, he’s my precious.

Shit, that sounded creepy, even in my head.

“Wait, did you just call yourself hot?” I feel a heat flushing into my cheeks because yeah, I kind of imply myself that I’m hot didn’t I?

“Well, maybe… but I already have people fangirling over me, Mary, ME!” I placed my laptop back on my desk and click around a bit. “See, **@BajillionOfSarcasms: Keep writing!!!! I’ll be fangirling over you fanboy!”**

“John, first of all, the name is BajillionOfSarcasm. And second, here’s a girl; Sherlolly_Shipper saying that you’re obsessed and obsession isn’t pretty healthy at all.” I can hear myself groaning out loud on her stupid remarks.

“Still, that shipper thinks that I’m adorable.” I huff at my best friend who’s staring at me as if I we’re growing two heads. “And I’m not obsessed; I just love them more than air.” I grin at her while she’s rolling her eyes at the back of her head.

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B My friend said I’m obsessed with you but I’m not. (sent a minute ago)**

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B I do like you a lot though. You’re hot, why are you so hot? You make me go ASDFGHJKL. (sent a minute ago.)**

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B AND YUDTKUYJRFIYFFYFUYQTFXGJ. THOSE WERE MY OVARIES. THEY EXPLODED. (sent 55 seconds ago)**

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B My friend says I don’t have ovaries because I am a boy. I’m a boy who thinks your freckles are pretty (sent 34 seconds ago)**

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B NOTICE ME! (sent 9 seconds ago)**

“Does Sherlock have freckles?” I can see Mary focusing on one of my Sherlock posters and I laughed.

“Depends on how much you zoomed in.”

“Never mind, I don’t even want to know. You’re creeping me out John.” I pull a funny face as she stands up and live.

My friend left. She has better things to do she said. Yeah, as if there are better things to do than stare at Sherlock Holmes. I can’t think of a thing better than staring at Sherlock Holmes right now. Okay maybe I can but it all involves Sherlock and my mouth.

_But look at this picture anyway. It makes me all hot and little John down there gets a little bit more excited than I am. Just imagine ripping those clothes off, then licking his chest way down low, while unbuckling his belt then licking his tiny bit visible v-lines while you’re tongue is teasing his happy trail, looking at him in the eyes until he has to shut them in pure pleasure. Yeah, you ladies have it pretty easy because you can hide your excitement, I’m sporting an instant boner if I think about all this (it’s hard not to) and you girls can just fake a bright smile and walk away without having to adjust your jeans every other minute._

_Anyway, if you like my blog, leave a comment below and hit that submit button._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck people. I mean my ideas are getting out of hands and I make John really a perverted fanboy. Hahaha. But I hope you all love this. Because I enjoy writing this bullshit! :P And I do not own the characters. They all belongs to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and BBC, the only I own is the plot of this crap! Fuck! I’d talk so very much. I AM FUCKING INSANE NOW. BYE.


	4. Three

Weekends. I love weekends. I don’t have to work on weekends and I don’t have loads of hobbies that require much of my time (being a 221 B fan not included). I don’t have many activities to participate in and I don’t have a lot of friends. Well, not in real life, on the Internet I am very socially active; I talk to thousands of people every day on my blog. So Mary shouldn’t bug me on making more friends. I have friends, loads of them. Most of them are just not in my time zone.

I reach for my laptop on the ground without losing the warmth of my bed sheets, or at least I tried. Crawling on the floor with my hands, legs still in my bed, I reach out and grab for it but the bloody thing is heavier than I anticipated, so I end up collapsed first on the floor. I groan, getting out of my bed. I really wanted to urinate anyway. So now Is as good of time as ever.

After I peed myself, I climb back to bed and open my laptop inside my little cocoon of sheets and pillows. I let out a yawn as I log into my Twitter and scroll through my timeline. Same old, same old. People are thirsty for more followers and I scroll past that, not really interested that nonsense people seem to do all the time. I’m honestly just looking out for pictures and checking if the band tweeted and hey , is Sherlock online?

 

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B It’s 8:30 AM, are you already awake or still awake?! I love you xxxxx (sent 2 minutes ago)**

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B. I know you’re here, you’re tweeting other people. I don’t ask for a tweet. I just ask for a follow. Or your D but it’s your call. (sent a minute ago)**

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B I’m boy. Boys like you too. Follow meeee?! xxxx (sent 3 seconds ago)**

 

With that, I minimize Twitter. Sherlock hadn’t replied to someone in three minutes anyway so there’s no point in stalking him some more. My stomach is begging me for breakfast but I’m torn between satisfying the needs of my hungry tummy and lazing around for a bit longer. My stomach always wins though because I can’t concentrate on words when I’m hungry.

I step out of bed, this time managing not to hit my nose on the carpet and put on a hoodie. I may or may not own an I LOVE SHERLOCK HOLMES hoodie. Okay, so I do own one, but only because it’s so warm and so comfy and the font is nice. You know, wearing a hoodie is like wearing a wearable hug and it’s a bit more special because it has a Sherlock Holmes in it. So technically, it’s like receiving a hug from Sherlock. But most importantly is has a I LOVE SHERLOCK HOLMES in it.

I decide on toast and jam instead of a bowl of cereals, because hey jams are good. I put on the bread on the toaster and open the cupboard for a jar of jam. When the toaster popped, I immediately placed the newly toasted bread on a saucer before spreading strawberry jam in it. I took one bite and a pleased sound leaves my mouth when I made the first bite of the toast, contently sighing as it slides down my throat. It’s like an explosion of marshmallows and dancing leprechauns in my tummy. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, together with lunch, supper and snacks in between. I was in the middle of putting bread on the toaster when my phone suddenly buzzed.

I sighed, maybe it’s just Mary asking me to join her on the park to play tennis to go jogging with her and that means I have to leave my previous laptop and go outside which is really not my division. I grab my phone and my eyes zoom in on the screen and right at that moment I choke on my heart. It wasn’t Mary texting me. It’s an insane amount of Twitter mentions.

I open the Twitter app to see what the hell is going on and see the loads of people congratulating me and claiming that I’m the luckiest person in the world at that moment. My heart speeds up at the amount of follows I just gained as I scroll down to see what I did to deserve this and why the hell they all think I’m the luckiest person in the wo-oh. OH!

 

**SHolmes_221B**

**@John_Watson: Hey boy** **J** **I am already awake, shooting for our next music video #HisLastVow. Good to know we have male fans as well. Followed! xxx**

**_@SHolmes_221B is now following you_ **

****

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!

How did the whole breathing thing work again? I had something to do with inhaling and exhaling air but I can’t find air. WHAT IS AIR? I want to scream and shout and let it all out, but I find myself slumping to the floor in silence. I can’t even hear the sound of my phone buzzing with mentions and follows over the sound of my heartbeat. Putting the thought of my high blood pressure away I go to Sherlock’s profile.

_Sherlock Holmes follows you._

 

So it’s true, Sherlock Holmes really follows me. And tweeted me and basically replied to three of the four tweets I sent. He read my words, he knows that I exist and holy fuck that feels fucking good. I lay down on the floor wishing I had tiles instead of carpet because tiles are cooler on your burning cheeks and I have a serious case of a flaming face.

I hug my phone close to my chest and kicks my feet in the air to do some spastic leg dance and squeal (in a manly way). When I look up at the screen again and it still says **_‘Sherlock Holmes follows you’._** I should be careful with this though, what if I accidentally blocked him or deleted my profile? No, that would be incredibly terrible. I should find out if I can insure my Sherlock follow. That if I lose it, I get him in my bed or something.

 

**John_Watson**

**Holy fuck! The amount of people tweeting me is insane. I now get what my MATE @SHolmes_221B goes through every day. ASDFGHJKL!**

Sherlock’s one of my Internet friends now and since I see my Internet friends as my real ones, he just became my best buddy in the whole world.

 

**John_Watson**

**@SHolmes_221B thanks for the follow mate. xxx**

 

I’m the best at faking of being calm and cool while my stomach is having a dragon party inside but maybe that’s the toast settling down in my stomach. My head is spinning and so are my thoughts, I need to calm down and act like a proper human. Easier said than done though, because SHERLOCK MOTHERFUCKING HOLMES IS NOW FOLLOWING ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

I Instagram a screenshot of Sherlock following me and I close my eyes as I scream some more in my head.

An hour and a bit late my mentions have finally settled down and my heart is beating at a relative normal pace. I pull myself up and go back to my bed where my laptop is still open and inviting me to the land of dreams.

I open my blog to find loads of messages, people saying they ship me and Sherlock and the smile that never left my face since you know, the Sherlock thing, widens.

 

_JohnLock Fluff:_

_I ship Johnlock with my life and soul. Johnlock for eternity bitches :D_

See, this girl got a brain! Johnlock is my life too but maybe that’s because I’m part of Johnlock and since Sherlock is the other half, Johnlock should be his life too.

 

_deducing_his_heart_

_I can’t just imagine John and Sherlock’s baby… I just can’t…._

Oh my god, our love child, someone should morph our pictures together because woah, we would have the cutest babies. They should look like Sherlock though and I wouldn’t mind being pregnant as long as it’s with his child. I would even have a normal delivery and squeeze the baby out of my willy if it meant Sherlocj was the father of my CHILDREN.

 

_XxXMykeePatootieXxX_

_I SHIP YOU TWO SO DAMN FUCKING MUCH!!!!_

Yeah, I do too.

I open a blank page and let my fingers hover over the keys. Should I go in ‘the mode’ or write a message over how Sherlock followed or how it’s not such a big deal? Well…

_So, Sherlock Holmes and I just became best friends for life, I tweeted him, he replied and followed, yeah we’re down like that. I told you we’re best buds , I’m even thinking about buying us matching necklaces._

_Step one; Get William Sherlock Scott pleasfuckemehardrightintheass Holmes to notice me, is mission accomplished. Now, step two, get into his pants._

_Oh yeah and by the way ADWHJYTUTEHUIIIIIIIVKHHCUUDHDNNVBGKDMDKEOR OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST SHERLOCK FOLLOWED ME AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING BREATHE. SHERLOCK SHOULD GIVE ME MOUTH TO MOUTH AND I SHOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT AND SHOVE MY TONGUE DOWN HIS THROAT AND GROPE HIM._

_No, I’m a good boy my mother raised me well, I shouldn’t be misbehaving especially when Sherlock Holmes is around me._

_Or should I?_

_Anyway ASDFGHJKL._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hey! Yo!!!! Erm, the text written in bold face are tweets while those written in italics are from John’s blog. And I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter because I felt so freaking excited about John because hey! I’m a fangirl and there is no significant difference between me and fanboys except they have penises and have no boobs. Hahaha! Enjoy! ;)


	5. Four

_Ladies, gents, and peasants:_

_I know you want me to update more about my fabulous existence, but I have a life now. Sherlock Holmes is now following me on Twitter and replied with three kisses in his tweets to me so that is basically means were dating. You can’t expect me to update every time you please because well, there are more important matters now._   
_Oh who am I kidding, just look at the fabulous picture where Sherlock stares right into your soul. It was sent by shutupimaddictedto221B and I couldn’t stop staring for hours._   
_Anyways, I’m going back to my interesting life now. Which of course does not mean stalking my boyfriend’s Twitter and Instagram like a maniac while eating cookies and chocolate._

Amongst the lovely people who like me for who I and are genuinely happy for my Sherlock follow, there are few hateful comments as well… Someone said I should delete my blog because it’s embarrassing and that I don’t stand a chance over Sherlock because he isn’t actually gay.

What I actually do is called wishful thinking. I know that Sherlock has a reputation for having a way with ladies and there are millions of people wanting to be his other half but a boy can dream! And I’m very pleased that some people are dreaming about it with me.

  
I laugh at a comment from jawns_little_babe (someone seriously dedicated an account to me! How great is that!) saying: To be honest, I know a better thing to do than staring at Sherlock Holmes… Staring at John. That’s just a bit freaky though; I’m used to be the starer not the staree.

  
I called Mary yesterday after I came down from my high and I’m quite sure that after a while she stopped listening and started doing other things. As in she actually put the phone on the table while I ranted about my Sherlock freaking Holmes follow. Yes, Sherlock Holmes, the Sherlock Holmes.

  
“Why is it such a big deal?” She asked, her voice a little bit annoyed. “I mean he follows thousands of people and you’re just one of them.”

  
“Two thousand two hundred and ten people actually and exactly! I’m one of them now! I can send him private messages and I’m on his timeline and he knows that I actually exist, THAT is why it’s such a big deal.” I explained excitedly, voice a little too high-pitched for a grown man.

“Do you actually think he reads his timeline or messages? They’re all from hormonal teens who are so obsessed with him that they stalk him night and day and send him rude messages.”   
I huffed, did she just described me? “Did you just call me a hormonal teen?” I heard a sigh from the other line.

  
“No John, I did not. Congratulations on your follow, I’ve got to go now. Are you going to be at the park later?”

“No can do sorry!” I said even though I wasn’t really sorry. I would see her on Monday at work anyway so why should I waste my time in the park while I can stay inside and explore Tumblr some more? That site sure has a damn load of good pictures and fanfictions. 

“Ofcourse not. See you on Monday, John.” I heard the beeping tone as she hung up on me. I bet she’s just jealous that I got a follow from Sherlock Holmes and she didn’t.   
Now, today, the day after the day I’m contemplating tweeting Sherlock. Now he’s following me, I’m suddenly a bit embarrassed of tweeting him the things I usually tweet because what if he sees my tweets and think that I’m a creep? The truth is ; I might be somewhat of a creep… But he isn’t allowed to know that until our twenty-first wedding anniversary.

**John_Watson**   
**@SHolmes_221B Still very grateful that you followed me. I love you xxx (sent 6 minutes ago)**

Was that too much? Should I have gone with a casual pal or mate and left kisses out? Suddenly I’m insecure and I don’t know what for.

  
Ten minutes after I sent my tweet. I got a shitloads of notifications that my tweet has been retweeted and favorite by hundreds of people and I’m taken aback. My mentions start to come alive again and I see loads of messages about me being cute and again they are happy for me because I got a follow. Loads of people are asking me to send their usernames to Sherlock and ask him to follow them as well. They want a follow (I don’t see why) and want one from Sherlock. I’m not freaking Harry Potter or something, I’m not a wizard. It actually took me two and a half years to get a follow from Sherlock in the first place.

  
Besides, why should I help those people to get a follow from Sherlock? The less people he follows, the more chance I have at getting him to notice me again, the more chance there is to have him realize that I’m the man of his dreams, the lover of his life, the cherry to his cake.

  
There are rude tweets as well and I try to ignore them, but it’s hard. People are telling me to either get a life or rot in hell. I know they would prefer the first but luckily I’m an emotionally stable person. When I’m not looking at pictures of Sherlock Holmes, that is. It hurts though, that people scold at me for no reason at all.  
I should’ve known that there is a downside to getting a follow from the most-eligible-bachelor in the world, but I shouldn’t forget that I’m a lucky boy and that they’re just jealous because I had something they don’t; Sherlock Holmes’ attention for at least one minute.  
A tweet catches my eye and I cringe. Ouch!

**SherlockG1rl4life**

**@John_Watson Telling him you love him doesn’t make him gay and you shouldn’t be gay either. It’s disgusting. Go die.**

I’ve never been attacked about my sexuality. People always seem to accept it and after I told my parents, they were just happy that I could actually be me instead of hiding. I know that not everyone is in places with the fact that there are homosexuals in their precious world but the hate has never been directed to me. 

I want to come back with a witty remark, a comment that would leave the girl weeping on the floor because she nearly had me in tears but I can’t think of the words. So instead, I trun to the one person that never fails to put a smile on my face.

**John_Watson**   
**DM @SHolmes_221B So a follow from you means getting hate from others. A lot of people are happy for me but there are few negative comments**

**John_Watson**   
**DM @SHolmes_221B They seem to think that me being gay is contagious and that I will rub it off you on you.**

**John_Watson**   
**DM @SHolmes_221B I hope you don’t get any trouble with your fans by following a gay boy because you don’t deserve the hate.**

**John_Watson**   
**DM @SHolmes_221B You don’t deserve any kind of hate actually. Anyway, sorry for my rant. xxx**

It feels good to get it off my chest. He might not read it or even delete my messages right away but it’s just nice to pretend he cares.   
The sun is shining and I thought about going outside, to catch some fresh air or get a little tan. Since my last Skype session with my sister, Harry, she keeps texting me and nagging me about how pale I was, that I should get a little color or at least take some Vitamin D. I could run through the park or maybe Mary is there playing tennis… but then again, why should I exercise? I can eat whatever I want and not out on any weight. I thank my parents for giving the fast metabolism gene. Is that even a gene?

I look up from my laptop, casually chilling on my bed next to the window and sigh. It’s one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I put on my shoes without bothering to tie the laces, my sister was right though; I do look quite pale for an Englishman, even looking at my reflection in the mirror.  
I walk down the stairs and open the door to the outside world, the real word. The heat (yes in England) hits me hard and I turn around. I’ll try again when the English weather decide to be normal. 

As I open the door, my eyes find my forgotten phone. I instantly lunge forward to get my precious off the counter top and kiss it a few times. “How are you precious? Sorry for leaving you, it must’ve been scary.” I mutter kissing it again. “But I’m here now, it’s okay. I’m here.” As if it actually hears my words. The screen lights up; it’s a tweet from Sherlock. Yes, I get the notifications when he tweets.

  
**SHolmes_221B**   
**It still upsets me how not everyone can accept people who they are. Never send hate, it can mark people for life. (sent a minute ago)**

**SHolmes_221B**   
**Nobody deserves that. Respect each other #loveislove xxx (sent 2 seconds ago)**

I can’t help but think he read my messages, and if he did, did he stick up for me to the entire world?


	6. Five

When I look next, Sherlock's tweet about love is love is deleted, I refresh the page but it doesn't come back. I can see my timeline goes crazy over it because rumor has it that Sherlock likes both girls and boys (YAY! ME) but isn't allowed to come out. Management is supposedly keeping him on a leash. I don't really know, my gaydar doesn't really go off when i see him but maybe it's just because I don't want to get my hopes up.

  
It's silly and I know it i, but when you think about it; if Sherlock really is into boys, there is a smaller crowd that wants to taste his D, so that means more chance for me. But if he's into both boys and girls, the competition is enormous.

**obv_IOU_sly**   
**@John_Watson YOU AND SHERLOCK. I SHIP DAT.**

**John_Watson**   
**@obv_IOU_sly me too darling, me too. It's unto Sherlock to row the boat.**

**SherlockianatBakerStreet**   
**@John_Watson Seriously, Jawn, no stealing my future husband okay? JUST KIDDING <3**

**John_Watson**   
**@SherlockianatBakerStreet I ain't stealing nothing , I am a well raised boy #Sherlockismine**

It's getting late and I'm getting tired. I need to be at work tomorrow morning but I can't quite say goodbye to my laptop. Tumblr seems to be gushing muts-read fanfictions and pictures of the sexiest band in the world being hotter than the super spicy sauce at Nando's. Twitter is just waking up; damn you Americans for waking up this late.  
There are pictures and gifs everywhere from when people have caught 221B shooting their video and I can see Sherlock smiling like fuck. His smile is so bright that I feel like I'm about to turn in a puddle of melted John.

_Previously in John's life..._

_Ha! i'm just kidding I'm not going to retell the story of dear sherlock tweeting and following me. He just did and that's what important. I want to thank you all guys for being so wonderful and supportive through out all the negative comments i'm getting. Some are just pathetic low-lives who think have a shot at my Sherlock and hate me for wanting the same. I say they smell the competititon._

  
_What happened with Sherlock's tweet hmmm? Was that him supporting gay rights or was he secretly coming out? Anyway, the tweet is deleted and people are going crazy about it, what are your theories?_

  
_While you think about it stare at this precious picture of Mister I'm-too-sexy-for-the-world._

Shit! It's two o'clock in the morning and I have to be up in six hours. In only six hours and fifteen minutes Mary is going to call me because she knows how I am when I'm sleeping. I spend half of the time I should actually be sleeping on the Internet. She's a good friend for making sure I'm up in time for work, I have to give her that. She only needs to improve her knowledge on 221B and she'd be perfect.

**John_Watson**   
**DM @SHolmes_221B Damn! Your making me forget about time. I need to be up in a few hours but I keep staring at your pretty face. Goodnight! xxx**

Yessss. let's blame it all on Sherlock Holmes. Oaky, maybe not everything but he's the cause of ninety nine percent of my personal problems. The civil war, he has nothing to do with that. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a World War III in a few years because countries can't agree on who loves Sherlock the most. Well, I'll fight for the whole United Kingdom and Ireland and I'll win it for us because we all know that I am unbeatable on that matter.

***

  
"Watson, are you awake?" Comes the very much alive from the voice of my best friend on the other side of the phone.

"Yes." I half lie and the fact that my voice cracked halfway probably gives me away.

"Are your eyes open?"

"I don't know. I can't see, it's too dark in here."

"John, open your eyes, get dressed and come to work. You have forty minutes left."

"But I don't wanna." I whine but open my eyes anyway. I squint at the sunlight screaming through my curtains and rid my eyes as I let out a loud yawn.

"If you come on time, i'll buy you a bagel and let you rant about Sherlock, how about that?" She offers and I sit straight up in bed.

"I know I married you for a reason!" I hang the phone and rid myself of my boxers (nearly tripping over them) as I stumble to the shower, brushing my teeth. I hum a little tune. Did you miss me? Did you miss me? Miss me? La la la. I rinse my body. I quickly dry myself off, I searched the closet for clean clothes and my work shirt.   
I grab my phone to see how much time I have left (twenty minutes, a new record) and my heart stops beating just for a second, before it picks up its pace and nearly thumps out of my chest.

**SHolmes_221B**   
**DM @John_Watson My pretty face and I are sorry. It's 3:12 AM now in case you're wondering. Have a good sleep. xx**

Oh my god. He did it again. He did it again. HE DID IT AGAIN! I run around the house not knowing what to do with myself. I might wake up my neighbors with all the manly screaming i'm doing but HOLY FUCKING FUCK!

  
My fingers are trembling as I try to type out a reply. I have to delete the message a couple of time because my words aren't actually words due to all the typos... I take a shruddery breath and try again.

**John_Watson**   
**DM @SHolmes_221B You and your gorgeousness are forgiven. Headed off to work now with my head in the clouds. Thank you for making my day.**

**John**   
**DM @Sholmes_221B Hope you have a great one too. Any plans? xx**

Shit! I only have three minutes left now, ugh. I can forget about that bagel. Thanks to my own enthusiastic self having, bumped my toes against the table. I have to limp to work instead of walking which makes me even more late.

"You're waggling. Did you-?" Never mind, I don't want to know." Mary shudders as she throws a box of cookies at me that I have to stack the empty shelf with. I roll my eyes at her and open the box. These looks so delicious, I have to remind myself to buy some after I'm done with work.

"For your information, I did not. I am saving myself." I reply with a smirk as I see her scrunch up her nose at my indulging of sex life details. "And besides, who says I'll be the one taking it in the ass."

"John!" She gasps hitting me with a bag of crisps. "I said I didn't want to know."

I smile at her with the most innocent look I can pull off and her expression relaxes. "No, actually, my knee was very attracted to the coffee table and the table decided to pull my knee in for a kiss. What a love story."

I pull up the right leg of my pants and see a bump and a bruise forming right below my kneecap, I groan. "Next time Sherlock messes with me, I want him to bruise me, not by my table."

"Wait, hold on, rewind. The next time Sherlock messes with you?" Mary asks, dropping a box on the floor and raising her eyebrows, making her look as if i just told her that her favorite brand of nail polish stopped making the color she always wears.

"Yeah but i was late for work so I can't rant about it..." I teasegoing on with restocking.

"You know you can't keep quiet forever. Hey, what do I have here? Is it a bagel?"

"Fine." I snatched the baked goods out of her hand and hum as the smell fills my nose. "Sherlock and I are tweeting. He replied to me once then he followed me and this morning he replied to my DM." I leave out the bit about the love is love tweets because I'm still not sure about that one.

"You are kidding..." Mary frowns.

I quietly look around like an obvious spy to see if anyone (my boss) is watching and get my phone out of my jeans pocket. I'm showing Mary the proof of what I just told her when it buzzes in my hand.

  
It's another message from Sherlock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO THERE BLOGGERS!!! I've seen the comments and the respomses you've been giving me, from the kudos and such. First of all, I am really that bored when i published this lol. SO AGAIN, I THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I AM STILL INSANE >:D

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY PEOPLE I REALLY DID GO INSANE THIS IS WHAT HIATUS DO TO ME. MY IMAGINATION WENT WILD AND I AM GOING TO HELL NOW. OH, GUYS I’LL BE POSTING MORE OF THIS SOON BECAUSE I JUST LOVE WRITING IT. OH AND BTW, JUST LIKE WHAT I PROMISED A JOHNLOCK FANFIC. AND IT’S TEENLOCK ANYWAY. PLEASE SUPPORT THIS BECAUSE HELL IS CALLING ME NOW. HAHAHAHA :D I’M BRINGING OUT THE GAYNESS IN WATSON IN AN AU.


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